What to do if we “fail”

Many people equate not achieving a goal with “failure.” This is a misunderstanding of life’s adversities. Not achieving our goals can actually be valuable experiences that will help us later on to achieve greater objectives. The Dalai Lama said: “Not getting what you want can be a wonderful stroke of luck.” At least, some sources attribute this quote to him, though anyone else could have said it.

Some candidates have prepared thoroughly, spent a lot of time working hard, and pinned many hopes on that opportunity which, for one reason or another, did not turn out as expected.

That’s why I’m suggesting three things you can do to handle this situation in the most constructive way:

1. Give yourself a break. It’s common, after receiving the news that the test was unsuccessful, to start compulsively thinking about what we did wrong. We should postpone this for two reasons. The first is because it’s a highly emotional phase, and we won’t be able to see it clearly. The second is because, once our emotional load of frustration, sadness, etc., decreases, we will be able to simplify the causes of what happened and put it into a much better context. Therefore, don’t think about it for a few days, stick to your routine, and do things that help clear your mind.
2. Don’t blame yourself in advance. Unconsciously, we tend to analyze what we did wrong. And sometimes, you didn’t do anything wrong. Simply, that day there were circumstances beyond your control that worked against you. If you knew that this rejection would lead to a better opportunity two weeks later, would you worry about it? Probably not.
3. Not passing a selection test is a battle. But wars are rarely won with a single battle. Many battles are fought, and added to the last one, they make up the final victory.
4. Don’t compare yourself. It’s common to compare yourself to that colleague who seems to always pass every test. First of all, people usually don’t talk about their “failures” or boast about their defeats. So, don’t easily believe everything people say. Secondly, you need to focus on yourself, because people rarely have the same circumstances.